


Operation Destraightify

by thatawkwardfangirl



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bets & Wagers, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2018-01-07 08:25:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1117686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatawkwardfangirl/pseuds/thatawkwardfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean Kirschtein is a cocky bastard, saying he could get any guy if he tried. His ego is put to the test when Reiner bets that he can't get Eren Jaeger, a homophobic prick, to fall for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

I'll be honest with you, I'm not the sort of person that is hard to wake up in the morning. I'm a morning person, no doubt about it. People can say what they want about it, but I like to get up early because I like to watch the sun rise. I like to feel like there's something out there that you can depend on to happen every day, yet it's always a little bit different each time, even if you don't notice it. It's a beautiful thing, really. The mixture of red, yellow, and orange were just pure perfection. After I watch it rise every morning, I either go back to bed or go to school. In today's case, I have school.

  Ah, school. Yes, we need it desperately, but that doesn't mean we have to love or enjoy it at all. I go to Trost High School as a sophomore, so I'm 16, like most of my friends. Trost isn't so bad, I guess. It's not all fancy like those stupid private schools, but it's not a complete dump. I can't say the same about the teachers, though. Now they could use an update. Especially the ones that are in desperate need of a de-wrinkling. School is pretty much everything in my home, besides sports. If I don't get good grades, I can't throw the epic parties that I do, so I keep it up. The people at Trost aren't so bad either. Yeah, they were a bit skeptic and annoying when I first came out as gay last year, but it all worked out well enough. I'm still insanely popular. I guess liking dick isn't that big a deal when you're in my high school. Well, not that big a deal anyway. Some people will put up a fight.

  So, I went back inside from my front porch where I watch the sun rise and fix some bacon and eggs. My parents raised me to be independent and do things on my own, so I did things like fix my own breakfast. They even made me walk to school when I was in middle school. At least they don't know that I would just walk over to my friend Marco's house down the street and his mom would drive him and I. Luckily, now I have my own car after I got my driver's license over the summer, which was a big deal for my parents. If you want to know anything about my parents, you should know that they practically shit money. I'm not kidding you.

  After my breakfast, I got dressed, brushed my hair and teeth, and then got my school things. I walked outside to my dark red (Porsche) outside, slinging my backpack onto the passenger seat. I revved the engine, loving the sound it made. I was extremely proud of my car. You could say it was my baby. Trust me, some people have. Anyways, I drove my car down the familiar streets to Trost High School, parking in my usual spot right next to Reiner, who was leaning against his own car. I honked at him and got one of his huge grins in return. He rolled his eyes at me as I walked over to him, us walking together to the school.

  "You know, you aren't going to win me over, Jean," he joked, giving me a playful wink. Reiner was straight, but he loved making jokes about how I couldn't get him. Don't get me wrong, I love Reiner, but he's not my type. He's just too buff. I prefer someone strong, but not so strong to where they'd want to top me. I don't do that. "I could get anyone in the school if I wanted, Reiner, gay or straight. I'm a guy magnet, you could say," I responded, not meaning to put the challenge in my voice. Reiner stopped us, narrowing his eyes at me. He was one of those guys that were constantly making bets because they hated to lose even the smallest challenge. That's just who he was, and I was okay with that.

  "Oh really? Is that so?"

  At that moment, Armin ran up to us, his longer-than-average blonde hair swaying by his shoulders as he arrived. "Is what so?" he asked, slightly out of breath from running to meet us. I just eyed Reiner, staying silent. I truly believed that with a little time, I could win over any guy, straight or gay. You just have to use a little word play and be careful with your body language. I wasn't afraid of this challenge. Reiner eyed me right back and then focused his attention on Armin. "Armin? Who is the straightest guy you know?" he asked, knowing Armin knew practically everyone in the school. He wasn't popular in the sense that everyone knew him and wanted to be friends with him, but in the way that he was easy to talk to and people liked that. He got to know a lot of people.

  Armin gave Reiner a questioning look but answered slowly, "Eren Jaeger." A warning growl managed to slip out of my throat. The straightest guy in the school just had to be the guy that was practically my mortal enemy. Basically, Eren called me out in front of everyone on being a stuck-up rich jerk and spray-painted 'FAG' on my car and locker, though no one had any proof. I know it was him. Reiner smirked at me knowingly and said, the challenge evident on his face, "You can seduce any guy in this school? I bet you can't get in Eren's pants by the end of the year." Armin seemed to realize his mistake in what he said and quickly squeaked out, realizing what was going on, "No! Oh, God, Jean, no! Eren absolutely hates you! Don't even think about it!" He actually seemed distressed, which caught me off-guard slightly.

  "If I don't bed him?"

  "I get your car."

  I gritted my teeth, immediately wanting to argue, but it would do no good. He would just say I was scared. I had to hit back even harder, even though Armin might not particularly like the rules. "When I win, you've gotta let Armin fuck you," I said quite simply. The looks that came on both of their faces was absolutely priceless. Reiner looked like he was about to throw up and Armin literally froze, not blinking or breathing. We revived him and he shook his head and stuttered out, "I-I'm not, I... What? He's so big! I c-can't..."

  It was a bit unrealistic to think about Armin's medium-sized self being the one topping someone as huge as Reiner. Reiner could be the Hulk if he painted himself green. Armin had come out to us last week, though, so I knew he would secretly love the idea. He wasn't one to admit to his feelings, though. "C'mon, Armin! You said yourself, Eren's the straightest guy in school. Plus, he hates me. Even I have to admit that the odds are against me. Who knows? Maybe you have nothing to worry about. For now, it's simply a possibility," I soothed, not wanting Armin to be nervous. He was my friend. Even if he didn't think so, I wasn't going to make him screw Reiner if he didn't want to. That's why I was already hatching my plan about getting Armin to like the idea of nailing Reiner. He nodded and I let out a relieved sigh.

  Before I could go down that road though, Reiner and I shook on it, though I could tell in his eyes that he was scared about the whole Armin thing. He was recovering, though, and would soon be back to his old joking self. Now I had to put my Eren plan into action. The idea of me being anywhere near his ass made me want to throw up, but that was only because of the things he had said and done to me. He was attractive with his messy dark brown hair, I suppose. I was taller than him, but not too tall. Who knows? Maybe I just need to be more down-to-earth with him and he'll let us be friends. I just need to infiltrate his brain, get him thinking I'm the nice guy. It was a challenge, yes, but that was the whole point. I'd have to control myself in front of him, something Armin would have to help me with. "See you later, guys!" I announced, my eyes already darting around for Eren. As I started walking to the high school, I swear I heard Reiner's joking voice say, "Oh, you know you want all this." I could practically see the deep blush and flustered look on Armin's face even though my back was to them.

  As creepy as it may sound, I've memorized Eren's whole schedule. Why? Because I couldn't risk running into him. I may be the high and mighty Jean, but Eren just brought me down. He was the only one that stood up to me about my parents and my attitude and my orientation. I desperately never wanted to see him, so I memorized his schedule that way we'd never cross paths. Luckily for me, we had no classes together. However, we were both on the football team and I saw him in the locker rooms every now and then. He usually stayed out running a little longer than the rest of us for some unknown reason, so if I took a quick shower, I didn't usually have a run-in with him. I knew that Eren had Math class first with Mr. Smith, so I moved to go down that hallway, not caring about being late. My first class was English and the teacher loved me, so I had this in the bag.

  This side of the school was the Algebra, Biology, and Chemistry side, so I didn't know it as well as the others because those were the three subjects I hated the most, so I didn't really pay attention. I managed to recognize Eren's messy dark brown hair talking to his friends, Levi and Hanji by the water fountain and quickly ran over to them. "Hey, Eren?" I asked a little awkwardly, looking from him to Levi then Hanji. They all intimidated me immensely and the glare Eren gave me didn't really help.

"What do you want, fag?" he replied harshly, not even turning to face me completely. I could see how much harder this was gonna be than with just your average hormonal teenage boy. As far as everyone knew, Eren had never had a girlfriend ever. Did he even have hormones?

 "Can I talk to you?" I asked softly, adding, "Alone?" He noticed my voice tone change and the fact that I hadn't immediately punched him in the face and he turned to me, giving me a suspicious look. This wasn't going well. He had to come out of his shell if we were going to do this. Well, if I was going to do this. "Please?" I almost begged him, eyes pleading. He pursed his lips, but nodded, motioning for me to lead the way. So I did. I walked him outside to the parking lot, biting my lip slightly at which way I should approach this.

There were two ways I could do this. 1. I could slip in and become his friend and seduce him from inside his circle or 2. I could seduce him straight forward and just go ahead and kiss him now. The second way wasn't how I usually did things, though, so I was going to stick with being friends first. "Okay, hear me out. I know you hate me because I'm a stuck-up rick jerky fag. I got that, okay?" I started, in which he looked like he was about to interrupt, so I just continued, "The point is, I don't want any enemies. I want to be your friend, Eren. I get that it'll take time, but I've got time. Can we at least try to be friends? I could take you to McDonald's and we could get to know each other." There was a silence, though it wasn't as awkward as I thought it'd be. He seemed to be at a loss for words, but he still managed to give me a look that said he didn't really trust me.

"Okay. We'll go this afternoon. You'll drive me," he stated simply, giving me no time to argue, not that I knew if I even could. Can you really even argue with an attractive guy who knows what he wants? I'd have to text my parents, but I could take him. I started having hope that maybe, just maybe, I could do this. I could get in Eren's pants. I had until the end of the year and it was only September, so I had time, to say the least. I just nodded and let him walk away to his class.

  I whipped out my phone and texted my parents, "Hey. I'm going to eat with a friend after school. I think I'll be home for dinner. Promise to let you know if plans change." It was hopeful thinking about plans changing to where I went to Eren's house, but, hey, I'm a hopeful guy. I smiled to myself and walked to my class, thinking of all of the possibilities.

  When you've got your mind on a bet and a sort of date, time seems to fly. Maybe it was the fact that Eren is, I'll admit, a little cute or the fact that I had no idea what we would be talking about, but I was extremely nervous. I've never, ever been nervous before, not this nervous, anyway. By the time I actually processed what would be happening, I was walking back out to the parking lot with Reiner. He was talking and I'm pretty sure he said, "Get it? Agent Pee? Like, as in, P-E-E?" Reiner was practically a child, but I loved him. He was my best friend, after all. We just happen to be the kind of best friends that make bets where one of us will get some. There's nothing weird about it.

  We arrived to our cars and Reiner leaned against mine with me, giving me a questioning glance before saying, "So, dude, what's up? You didn't laugh at my pee jokes." That was another thing about Reiner; he could read me like an open book. He always said that he could see into my soul and that it was filled with pie, whatever that meant. I love him, but that doesn't mean I completely understand him all of the time. I chewed on my lower lip for a moment, staring at the double doors at the high school across the parking lot, waiting to see Eren and answered, "I talked to Eren earlier. We're going to McDonald's when he finds me out here." Reiner gave me a mock shocked expression and wiggled his bushy blonde eyebrows at me.

"So... Would you say...it's a date?" he asked teasingly, the joke evident in his voice and posture. He was probably the only person, besides occasionally Armin, that I told about any dates I went on with guys. Reiner would always groan and hide his face in his pillow whenever I told him about the occasional fucking. Now I just tell him because he always gets so flustered. Plus, he isn't gay so it's not like he gets turned on. It's like a win-win. Well, for me anyway. For Reiner...well, not so much.

  I elbowed Reiner in the side and just smirked at him. "So what if it is? Maybe I'll even get some."

  "Get some what?" said a voice about two yards away from Reiner and I. Of course, it was Eren, sneaky as always.

He raised an eyebrow expectantly at me and I quickly said, "Get some McDonald's, obviously. Hop in." I was desperately trying to act (nonchalant) about almost getting caught. For a fleeting moment, I considered Reiner setting me up for that, but then just quickly discarded the idea. The important thing was that Eren didn't overhear the whole conversation, otherwise I'd be screwed and not in the good way.

  Eren hesitantly started walking to the passenger door, giving a slight head nod towards Reiner. As Eren looked away to grab his seatbelt, I mouthed to Reiner through the window, "Armin!" His face went pale, as if he had forgotten about the whole bet. I revved my engine again and chuckled as Reiner flipped me off. Eren didn't say anything, though, so I suggested, "Hey, why don't you put on some music?" He hummed in response and leaned forward, turning it onto the town's pop station. It was currently playing a love/sad song that Eren seemed to recognize. I let him listen to it and enjoy his moment, whatever it was.

  I arrived at the McDonald's parking lot, pulling into a random parking space and turning off the engine after putting it in park. Silently, we both got out of the car and walked inside, side-by-side. It was more awkward than I thought it'd be, but, hey, I'll take what I can get. At least he came. I ordered and then he did. I watched the way his lips moved when he talked and licked my own lips. I felt like a stalker or a creeper for a moment and then reminded myself that I absolutely hated this guy. I didn't want to eat him. He wasn't exactly on the menu. I said to him, pulling my gaze away from his lips, "Why don't you go pick us out a table?" He just nodded and walked away while I waited for the food. As I waited, I pondered what Eren and I would talk about. I thanked the lady for the food and found Eren, sitting across from him.

After passing out the food, we ate in silence for a moment. I watched him eat, seeing the burger disappear inside his mouth surprisingly turned me on, so I quickly cleared my throat and said, "So, Mikasa's your foster sister, right?"

  A completely defensive stance overcame his whole body and he glared at me before saying harshly, "Yeah? So? Is there a problem with that?" I realized that he was still on guard about the whole situation and found myself reaching out and brushing my hand against his reassuringly. As soon as it happened, I pulled it away, eyes wide. Eren had the same shocked look. He scoffed at me and I could almost hear him say in his head, "Faggot." It wounded me, if I'm being honest with you. How is he the only one that could do this to me?

His voice lowered an octave as if not wanting to make a scene as he said in no uncertain terms, "Is this some sick joke, Jean? I'm straight and this is not a date. I'm not a fag like you." It hurt, yes, but I wasn't going to show it. This brunette was not going to bring me down. I mentally heard Reiner's voice saying something like, "Heh, straight and date rhyme."

  "Eren, stop it. So what if I like dick? So do girls and you don't have a problem with them! I'm not making a move on you. There's no point when you won't open up to me, plus you're straight and I know that, okay? Just treat me like a person, not a mistake," I said, amused by his expression at my mention of dicks. Was he really that naive and innocent? The thought of an innocent boy's virginity being taken by me turned me on more than it should have. A guilty but shocked look crossed over his face and he looked down, not letting me look at his face. I reached my hand across the table and lifted his chin up so his green eyes connected with mine. "Eren, tell me whatever you want. I know we fight a lot and that's okay, but I still want to be your friend and I still want you to trust me. I'm sorry if I'm a bit straight forward with my actions, but, in my defense, you have a hot ass," I stated, probably ruining the moment. I waited for the inevitable punch that Eren was going to surely give me, but it didn't come. The deep blush that appeared on Eren's cheeks, though, was priceless. I may have just admitted that I was slightly attracted to him, but it was worth it because he gave me a half smile. It was as if he were saying that it wasn't okay to say that, but he would let it side.

"Look, I've gotta get home and help Mikasa with dinner, but thanks for this. Would you like to come over to my house after school tomorrow?" he asked, making me mentally leap for joy. Maybe I'd get in his ass after all. Maybe he wasn't as straight as he seemed. Either way, I nodded and pulled my hand away from his chin. "I'll give you a ride home."

  We threw our trash away and got back in the car. I'm not really proud of what went on in the car on the way to his house, not at all. The pop station was still playing and Eren and I sang our lungs out to "Wrecking Ball." Like I said, I'm not proud. He guided me to his house and I parked in his driveway. He looked at me for a moment and said, "You know, you aren't so bad, Jean. See you tomorrow."

  "See you tomorrow, Jaeger."

  His sister was waiting for him in the driveway and gave me a hard look. She had a reputation and I had no doubts that she would be coming for me. I think she could read into my soul and knew that I was playing Eren. Either way, I drove back to my house and helped cook dinner. All was well. For now.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trip to ones home? Hell yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to write, I got distracted by food and internet.... but not this internet.   
> Enjoy the obliviously gay Eren~

I honestly think it's impossible for you to picture the looks on Armin and Reiner's faces the next day when I told them that I was going to Eren's house after school. Reiner gave Armin a playful glare and whined, "You said this guy was straight!" Armin squeaked in response and seemed to shrink inside himself.

  "He is straight! I swear! Jean is just..." he said, looking up at me.

  I smirked and offered, "Jean is just smoking hot and irresistible? Thanks, I get that a lot."

  "Actually, I was thinking that he meant something more along the lines of, "Jean is just a cocky douchebag." Sounds about right. Who knows? Maybe Eren's into the whole 'jerk' thing," said Reiner, wiping the smirk clean off of my face and replacing it with a glare. Armin suppressed a giggled and I just scoffed, going to class, away from his two best friends who clearly don't understand how amazing it is when you realize that you're so amazing that you might be able to get in your enemy's pants. They obviously don't understand. As I was walking to my English class that I had been late for yesterday, an arm reached out from an empty classroom and pulled me into it, shutting the door behind them.

  "What the hell?!" I yelled, looking around wildly.

  Mikasa was sitting there in front of me, fixing her eyes on me in a death glare. She obviously didn't understand either, not that it was helping. "What do you want from my brother?" she all-but growled at me. I had heard of Mikasa's reputation, but we had never had a reason to come into contact before. Now there was a reason, and that reason just happened to be her brother. I debated in my head mentally the pros and cons of telling her the truth and decided on lying like I usually do.

  "What?" I asked, "Can I not make friends? I'm tired of having an enemy that scares the fuck out of me, so I made amends. Is that so wrong?" Mikasa stared at me as if she could see through my soul and I wondered for a brief moment if she saw pie like Reiner had said he had. I thought about laughing because I had actually considered asking that, but I didn't, knowing that it would just make Mikasa more suspicious that she already was, if possible.

"You look at my brother like you want to eat him," she deadpanned, her expression showing complete boredom.

That just made me mad because she was the one who was making me late for class! God, woman! Sorry I can't be as exciting as you when you kick innocent people's asses! I really didn't have a response for what she had said, though. I opened my mouth as if to talk, but nothing came out. I was pretty sure I heard a small squeaking sound, but I begged that she hadn't heard it. After seeing my inability to actually use speech, she jumped to conclusions in her head and said, "You like my brother! You fag! He's straight! What have you done to my brother? Now he's watching The Golden Girls and gossiping! Well... He already did that, but that's not the point! Stay away from my brother or I'll kick your ass, got it?" I stared at her, not believing she had said things like that. I was a person just like she was, after all. We both liked guys, so wasn't that a bit hypocritial? I said just as much.

  "I don't see why everyone keeps pointing out that I'm gay! I like dick, you like dick; I don't see the problem here. You're basically telling me not to like dick when you do, too, so you're being a fucking bitchy hypocrite!" I said to her, though I knew it might cost me my face.

  Surprisingly, I didn't get a face full of Mikasa's fist. "I don't like dick," she muttered, making me stare at her in shock.  "You're a lesbian?" I asked rather rudely. I had all the right in the world to be rude, though. How could she basically tell me not to like people of the same sex when she did, too? I didn't let her say whatever she was going to say and said, "I'm done with this, Mikasa." I walked out of there feeling like an extreme badass, though all I'd done is put Eren's sister down. I just hoped that she wouldn't tell him and I would still have a chance to get into his pants. It's all about the game and how you play it. I knew the game between me and Mikasa wasn't over yet. She was persistent and was probably already planning what she was going to do to me when I went over to her and Eren's house today. The worst thing I came up with was Mikasa murdering me, but I didn't think she'd actually do it... Would she? I shook my head and walked into my English class, apologizing about being late and taking my seat. As usual, I stared at the English teacher, who just happened to be kind of fucking gorgeous. One time I had even purposefully done something bad so that I could stay after class. I even thought about asking the teacher to tutor me after hours, but decided that that would just get him into trouble, so I let it be for now.

  Just like yesterday, my day flew by fast. The only time that I actually felt like time was slowing down was when I went to the locker rooms to shower and stayed longer than usual. Eren had walked his, flipping his messy, sweaty dark brown hair to the side, making me want to stop and stare at him. As he started to strip, I looked away, unable to look. If I did manage to fuck Eren, I wanted what was in his pants to be a surprise for me. If I had to guess, though, I'd say that he was bigger than average and that scared me. I always topped because I was the dominant type, but so was Eren. He was stubborn and dominant. Nobody had ever topped me and I didn't know what I'd do if Eren tried to. I couldn't exactly leave him because I would be so close to winning the dare.

 I just decided not to think about things like that and continued on with my day after that. It flew by faster than I would've liked because by the end of the day, I was a nervous mess and Reiner noticed.

 "What's wrong with you, dude? Your B.O. smells like the Loch Ness Monster just threw up on you."  Thank you, Reiner, for being so very supportive.

 I glared at the brauny blonde and said, "I don't know; maybe I'm going over to Eren's house and I'm 50% sure that his sister is going to murder me!" I hated yelling at Reiner because I always felt like Reiner was the most childish of my friends and felt as if I were taking candy from a baby when I yelled at Reiner, even though he could take care of himself.

"Maybe Mikasa's just jealous that you like Eren and not her. She wants you, Jean. Isn't it obvious?" he joked, not even blinking at the fact that I had yelled at him. I wanted to explain to Reiner that Mikasa most definitely did not like me, but I felt as if I would be betraying her in some way, as weird as it sounds. I really had every right to out her to the rest of Trost, but I was a decent person and wasn't going to do that. Yes, I did just say I was a decent person. Deal with it.

  I waited at my car again, looking for Eren. Reiner said, "Dude, you're so pale. Like, I swear that you're going to make me shit my pants if you get any whiter because you'll look exactly like the ghost of my Aunt Gracie." I snorted, ignoring the comment and pinched my cheeks, trying to get some color back in my skin before Eren arrived. If I was lucky, I would get lucky. If I wasn't lucky, I'd be buried in an unmarked grave with Mikasa staring down at it and saying, "I told you not to mess with my brother, fag." Wow. She's still a major hypocrite even in my daydreams.

  "Reiner, there he is. Go ahead and go," I advised, not knowing why I was telling Reiner to go. I had actually wanted Reiner there for moral support, so why the hell had I told him to go? I didn't dwell on it as I saw Reiner shrug and get into his car.  

Before he was completely in the car, though, he yelled out, "What's that, Jean? Yeah, Eren does have a nice ass." That motherfucker. He gave me a wink as he quickly shut the door to his car and drove out of the parking lot. I did my best poker face. The only good side to what Reiner had just done was the fact that I finally had some color on me again. The downside to that was that the color was red.

  Eren walked over to me, a brown eyebrow raised. "I believe the topic of conversation was my ass? I can talk about my ass all day," he commented, leaving me dumbstruck. He continued on, "I know a lot about my ass. For some reason, it's able to hold a lot of shit in it. Like seriously. I can't believe my ass stretches enough to get the shit into the actual toilet, you know?" I stared at him for a moment and then busted out in laughter. That conversation definitely wasn't giving me a boner any time soon. Any other time, I would've gladly discussed Eren's perky ass, but now I was still trying to calm down enough to stop giggling. Who knew that Eren's weird sense of sarcasm could be so hilairious?

I grinned at him stupidly and motioned for him to get in the car as I walked around to my side. "What - you aren't going to open the door for me?" he joked, getting in the car.

"Shut up, princess," I retorted and revved my engine, already having the way to Eren's house remembered.

  "Has, uh, Mikasa said anything about me?"

  Eren gave me a weird look, almost like he was now suspicious. "Actually, yes. She has. Why?" he questioned, clearly wondering what was going on between me and his sister.  

I stared at the road, thinking about what I should and shouldn't tell Eren. Could he take knowing his sister was a lesbian? Or would that make him feel free to be gay? Either way, I said, "Your sister threatened to kick my ass if I continued to hang out with you." It was technically true, though not the whole thing. Did he really need to know every little detail? I concluded that he didn't. Eren stayed silent, looking forward.

 "Would it be okay if we went to your house instead?" he asked, still not looking at me, which had me on edge. Did he not think I could handle myself around Mikasa? Or was it that he didn't think that I could beat her in a fight? Because I bet everything I have that I could take her down if I wanted to, and right now you could definitely say that I do.  Definitely. The fact that Eren didn't think that I was strong or superior enough to take down his foster sister pissed him off more than usual.

There were always the rumors about Mikasa, yes, but Jean believed he was better than every other guy, so he just kept heading towards Eren's house and gave Eren a curt, "We're going to your place. I'll show you that Mikasa can't beat me."

  "Beat you... What? Jean, Mikasa was raped about two years ago. That's why she's all tough now. She learned to defend herself and she's weary of guys, any guys. She absolutely haes everyone but me, though I bet she thinks I'm annoying at times. Look, she's knows you're gay and thinks that you're gonna rape me or 'turn me gay.' I'm not gay and why would I be? I wish that jerk hadn't done that to her." he explained, sincerity written all over his face, which made me calm down slightly. For some reason, whenever he was calm, I would calm down. Let's just say you don't want him to get mad. It'd be all downhill from there. Trust me. The word he had said made sense, though, as it all clicked in my slow-moving brain. Mikasa was skeptical of an always so tough because she had to be to 'survive,' so to speak. Guys had hurt her, so she hurts them when she can, but not through rape, through physical pain. Despite the threats she had given me, I felt a slight pang of sympathy towards her and let out a sigh, my reddened face slowly going back to its regular color.

As I did a U-turn to head to my house, I apologized, "Oh, Eren, I'm, uh, I'm sorry I got all defensive. I don't say the 's' word to people a lot, so be glad you got one. Anyways, the point is, I felt like you didn't think I was strong enough to take on Mikasa and it just bothered me for some reason. It sucks what that guy did to her and she didn't deserve that."

  When I thought about the fact that if the guy hadn't done what he had done, Mikasa would be completely different. I believe that your past defines who you are and, even though it was horrible, this was the way Mikasa was meant to be. I just couldn't picture her in fancy shmancy clothes, chasing after the star quarterback, and gossiping with her friends. That's who she would be if it hadn't happened and I hated knowing that someone had to rape her for her to find herself. Maybe she even discovered who she was a little too early because of it. Eren smiled/smirked and said, "Well, I still don't think you can take on Mikasa." I just groaned while he chuckled at me. I quickly made a U-turn, heading for the twenty minute ride to my house. Once again, I wish we lived closer together. Wishes don't always come true, though. I should know that.

  I pulled into my mansion of a house, cursing under my breath for being insecure about how big my house was. I'm Jean Kirschtein. I'm awesome.

  "Hi Awesome, I'm Very Annoyed, can we go inside now?" Eren said sarcastically in the car beside me. Oops. Must've said that out loud.

I blushed slightly, turning and getting out of the car to hide it after parking and taking my key out. "Er, come on." I muttered, not caring if Eren heard or not because of the embarrassment that still made my ears red. How did I get like this around him? I was always smooth and cocky. That's how I was supposed to be, how I was raised. I'm the richest person at Trost and my parents talked about how we were better than everyone else all the time. When you hear something so many times, it's kind of hard not to believe in it. Especially when the first words said to you was: "Oh, yes. You're gonna be the richest, most popular young man out there, son." Thanks dad, because I wanted to grow up believing that popularity was everything. I don't really believe it as much as I did back in middle school. When I met Reiner was when it all really changed for me. I literally owe him everything. He was always so funny and down-to-earth, despite his dad having a load of cash, even though he only used a little amount of it to send to Reiner and his mom every month. It really was horrible. What can I say? The big guy's grown on me. I can't say I've never thought about being with him romantically, but I blame that on me vowing that I wouldn't touch myself or have sex or anything really sexually related and Reiner seemed to be with me the whole time. What else was I supposed to get hard to? It's a good thing I like Er- No. I mean, I, uh, like someone else.

  Eren followed me up to my room. I have to admit, it was a challenge trying to get my heart rate to slow over having a hot guy in my room withouot my parents there. "So, uh, this is my room." I said awkwardly, gesturing towards it. If my parents had been there, they would've waited until Eren was out of earshot and then told me that I should've introduced my room with pride and boasted about them and how much they gave me. The thing was, I didn't ask to be filthy rich or to have stuck-up parents.

  Eren looked around, seeming to inspect everything like it was some kind of museum. I didn't know how I felt about that. It's a good thing I put all my...toys away the day before. That would've been one awkward conversation. "Nice place." he said, probably more to be polite than anything. It was getting harder and harder to read this guy. For some reason, I loved the challenge of figuring this confusing puzzle out. We could spend all night talking and bonding and then we would stare into each other's eyes and Eren would admit he was gay and I'd lean in and he'd lean in and then...

  That's when Eren found my stereo.

  That's when the party started.

  See, when people hear loud music coming from my house on a Friday night, they immediately alert everyone they know and next thing you know, everyone's swarming my house, either drunk or high. Eren had never been to one of my parties and he didn't know that. So, he turned up the volume and almost immediately I got four texts telling me who would bring what. There was no stopped the wave now. I started riding this wave, and I'm not gonna fall off my board. No fantasies with Eren, I guess.

  "Okay, Eren, you basically just sounded the alarm for a party at my house, so now we're going to have to have one. Please stay. Get drunk, get high, I don't care, just please stay here. If it's okay with your parents, you can stay the night here."

  With me.

  "Alcohol? I'm in." he announced, turning up the music, then he ran down my stairs, yelling in a party voice that I didn't even know he had, "Boooooze!" I definitely had to study up on this guy's personality disorder. It was making my head spin. I had time to study after the party, after the party with Eren. I would get him alone when he was drunk and drill him for information. The plan swarmed in my head and I knew it would work. It had to work. I just had to make sure that I cornered him at the right time. Then, commence the getting into his pants and giving him a night he'll probably forget because of th =e alcohol in his brain and body. Who knows? Maybe he'll turn gay. That would make a very, very happy Jean.

  For now, though, I ran down the stairs and yell-sang, "Put your middle fingers up!"

  "If you don't give a fuck!" I heard Eren say from downstairs.

  This would be very interesting, very interesting indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again, I'll try to update sooner


	3. Dysfunctional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean does something good. Armin joins the dark side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so let me warm you before-hand that there is a little bit of a heated moment in this chapter. Heh. Heh. HEHEHEHEH-erm. Anyways, so, when you see that something is obviously about to happen, you can skip down a bit if you'd like. Just a warning, though, it will get more explicit as the story goes on. 
> 
> Also, I am so sorry about how long it's taken to update! Honestly, for the past month and a half, I've been highly motivated to do absolutely NOTHING. But I'm back on track now, so I hope you like this next chapter. And I swear that from now on, I'll update this every Thursday. 
> 
> Feel free to comment or send me a PM! I got my phone taken away, so, honestly, talking to strangers online is all I've got! And I'm okay with that. 
> 
> Last thing, in all the free time I've had, I started another fic, which I'm going to upload the first chapter after this, so please check it out. It's Eren/Levi, though it starts out with Eren dating Jean and Levi being engaged to Petra. That's why this is so interesting... Muahahaha. Anyways, I hope you like it!
> 
> -Your fellow writer, fangirl, and nerd,  
> Mollie.

People started arriving at my house in a matter of minutes, some carpooling and some I didn't even know, though that wasn't unusual. I had never seen Eren's 'party side' and it made me happy inside that he had one - and that it was so fucking awesome. Overall, Eren was awesome and it sucked that he had opted to treat me like being gay was wrong than like an actual human being. It was all really unfair that I was just discovering who he was and how much I loved who he was. I wasn't really ready to admit to myself that I was starting to get attatched after only about a day, if you add up the two half days.

I had no time to work out my life's crisis, though, because I was too busy drinking and giving out drinks with Eren. I really didn't drink much because that would ruin the plan that I had for Eren, who was chugging them down like it was his job. Maybe he should be a bartender. I could fuck him over a bar. Damnit! I've gotta stop making fantasies happen in my head as if Eren will actually want a relationship with me. I growled, running a hand through my dark brown hair. Eren gave me a questioning look, but his brain couldn't really focus on one thing due to the alcohol. Classical drunkie.

That's when Reiner showed up and, quite simply, rained on my parade. How did he do it? He got Levi and Armin to team up with him and then they all poured beer over Eren and I's heads. Eren totally didn't mind, spinning in circles, while holding his mouth open to get more beer. Who would've known he was such an alcoholic? I sighed under the on-pour of beer and walked out of there, averting my eyes away from Eren's wet shirt that stuck to his surprisingly muscled chest and torso. I went up to my room, shutting the door, but I left it unlocked because it was highly unlikely that anyone would come in my room while I was changing. 

Boy, was I wrong.

I was pushing my boxers down, beer on pretty much every piece of my skin and glistening on it when Eren walked in. Eren. Walked. In. On. Me. Naked. I looked over at him in shock, my junk pretty much just hanging out freely as Eren's eyes raked over my body. I watched him lick his beer-tasting lips and shut the door behind him. He locked it. My heart was beating out of my chest at what was happening. But what really was happening? I was currently naked in front of a guy I'm supposed to screw before the school year is over. He is currently drunk and has locked us in my room. Alone. Together.

"You know, these clothes are a bit tight on me now..." he said seductively, making me shiver, though I hoped he thought it was just the fact that beer was all over my body and it was making me cold. That's what I told myself. Eren started slowly walking to me, pulling his shirt off and tossing it to the side as my eyes skimmed over his torso, taking the gorgeous sight in with a hunger I didn't know I could have. I felt myself get harder and I prayed to whatever god was out there than Eren didn't noticed. Of course, he noticed. He unbuckled his pants, pushing them down and off and tossed them also to the side. I was getting harder just seeing the imprint of his dick in his wet, tight boxers. He was finally right in front of me, a completely different person than who he regularly was. Because his regular side was straight and didn't come closer when I was naked and vulnerable. 

He ran a finger down my chest, my eyes never leaving his as he drifted his finger not-so-innocently further and further down. Right before his hand touched my cock and I was about to beg for it, he pulled his hand back. He pulled his fucking hand back! I couldn't yell at him about what a fucking tease he was because then he crashed his lips down on mine. And damn it felt good. I couldn't understand how he was so experienced and precise, even in his druken state. I felt dominated when I was with him like this and it scared me. The bet was that I had to screw Eren, not the other way around. Besides, nobody was getting in my ass any time soon. So, with that in mind, I started pushing back dominantly against Eren's lips, pushing him onto the bed and grinding up against him in desperation. 

I finally had to pull back for air, breathing heavily as I looked down at what a needy mess I'd made of him. It was really hot. 

"God, just fuck me already!" he groaned out, reaching down to pull his boxers off. I surprised myself when my hand shot out to grab Eren's, preventing him from exposing himself fully to me. Somehow, my subconscious processed that I couldn't fuck him like this. As much as I hated admitting it, it was wrong to take advantage of him in his drunken state, no matter how hot or how much this side of Eren wanted me. If Eren had taken them off, I knew I wouldn't be able to control the lust and adrenaline pumping through my body. It really was unfair how Eren influenced me like this. For the first time in my lifetime, I couldn't fuck a gorgeous, possibly gay, guy who was half naked underneath me and begging for it. 

I quickly reached over to my dresser and pulled a clean pair of boxers on. I quickly added some black, faded sweatpants to the mix and a tight white T-shirt. I looked regretfully down at him while he looked at me in disbelief at what I was doing. I really couldn't belive what I was doing either. If I didn't actually have a heart, I would be pounding Eren into my bed right about now, but that would had to wait until Eren was sober and begging for it. 

"Get dressed." I said stiffly and walked out of the room, hoping nobody saw my hard-on through my sweatpants. I can always count on Reiner to say what I don't want him to say, though. 

"Hey, Jean!" he called from across the room, obviously drunk, "Is that lump always naturally in your pants?" Everyone started laughing and my cheeks flamed, me quickly exiting the room and attempting to bury myself inside my refridgerater. 

Reiner snuck up behind me and said, "You know, if you get any closer, the refridgerator's gonna think your onto him and he just might keep you in there." He hopped onto the counter and chilling on it like it was his job. That was the thing about Reiner; he could make himself at home anywhere, including on my countertop. 

"What makes you think my refridgerator is a guy?" I countered, narrowing my eyes at him testily. 

Reiner wiggled his blonde, bushy eyebrows at me and said, "Well, that cord is pretty long." I could practically feel the 'you-know-what-I-mean' wink coming right after. I groaned and shut the refridgerator door, knowing I'd never be able to look at it the same again. Luckily, the coldness of the refridgerator had shrunk my erection down, so now Reiner couldn't make any jokes about how my sweatpants needed to pop that very large pimple. In case you're wondering, yes, it is very large, thank you very much. Anyway, then Reiner grabbed my arm and took me back in the living room where all of the people were. I scrunched my nose, wishing they were all gone. Except Reiner and maybe Eren. 

Have I mentioned how completely different Armin is when he's drunk? When he's sober, he's awkward and shy and innocent. I'm pretty sure when he gets drunk, it's like that movie 'The Mask.' He transforms into everything he wants to be: confident, smooth, sexual, wild. Trust me, he was. Remember how I said that Armin was newly gay? Well, he confided in me and told me that he was a bottom, which had really assumed no less. The bet, though, required him to be a top to a very large, very muscular guy. So, when Armin was drunk, I'm assuming his alternate personality is a top. Why do I assume this? Maybe it's because he eats apples or the fact that as soon as we entered the living room, he walked up to Reiner and slapped his ass, making the big guy jump. I watched him smirk and lean up, whispering something into Reiner's ear that made his face flush completely red.

"Armin!" he squeaked, looking flustered as he glanced down at the other blonde. Armin gave his ass another slap, harder this time. I actually heard a smack. I raised an eyebrow as the small guy walked away, moving his hips sensually to the music. 

"What did he say?" I questioned, glancing over at Reiner's still red face. 

"He said that he hoped I lost the bet so that he could fuck my, uh, erm, well, um, tight ass?" he said, making the end sound like a question as if he still wasn't really sure himself that sweet little innocent Armin had actually just said that to him. I had to admit, I was impressed. Armin, or whoever was currently possessing his body, was right about one thing: that I'd win the bet. The realization that I could've already won it made my heart lurch, made my body heat up slightly just remembering Eren up in my room earlier. I'm gonna be getting off to that image for the rest of my life. 

I smirked and Reiner and said, "Look who's coming onto who now."

It earned me a hard smack in the side as I laughed and fell on the floor. Reiner started laughing, too, and soon we were both just lying on the floor, laughing our asses off because of a stupid joke that involved a seductive Armin and a refridgerator. Wow, our lives really are messed up. At least I still looked good doing it. 

When we'd finally laughed ourselves out, I decided it was time for this party to be over. I can handle people and parties, but I can't handle a headache. I get really grouchy and start yelling at people in a Russian accent. 

I got off the floor, looking around at all the dancing bodies and found my stereo, slipping myself through the big dance blob, getting humped by someone, though I wasn't sure who. Soon, I got out and turned it off, "I Like It Like That" by Hot Chelle Rae turning off. The people kept singing for a minute before they realized the stereo was off. I glared at all of their drunk faces and said in the silence, "Go home." 

Watching them file out of my house on my command would've made someone from the FBi or government think I was some type of supernatural being. Sadly, I wasn't. But I did have good control over the people that came to my parties. Except Reiner. No one can ever really control that kid, can they? 

"If you're Darth Vadar, can I be Luke Skywalker? I promise I won't try to kill you." Reiner told me drunkenly, making me grin and chuckle, walking to him on my couch and sitting on his face and doing the thing that every guy on the universe would've done: I farted on him. Now, let me tell you, if I was a supernatural being, my deadly weapon could be my farts. They smell like Dirty Dan's butt on a bad day. 

Reiner used all his muscley strength to push me off and throw me onto the other couch in my living room. If I'm Darth Vadar, Reiner is definitely The Hulk. 

"Aw, is Hulkie angry?"

"Smash," he said weakly and faked dying on my couch. It was pretty convincing. He stopped himself from breathing and everything. I bet I could do it better, though. I can obviously do everything better. His facade was over the second he gasped for breath so hard that he rolled off my couch and onto the floor with an, "Oof!"

Reiner's alchohol must've kicked in then because a few seconds later I heard him snoring. I'd only had a few beers, but I started feeling drowsy, too  
.   
"Night, Hulkie." I whispered to Reiner before crashing on my couch in my living room with beer bottles and red cups and just a huge mess surrounding me. 

If someone told me my house was a mess, I wouldn't get up. But if someone would've told me Eren had never come out of my room, that would've gotten a completely different reaction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh, heh, heh...
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry it was a bit short.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work for the fandom! Feed back is much appreciated.


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